Friday, June 12, 2020

Do not forget the Atoning Blood of Jesus Christ

Olivia
 Dream date: today! 6/12/2020
  Dream:
In the basement (home in Utah) with Jenny, Zion and Heather sitting on the couches. I am sitting on the floor and we are watching a movie:
 The movie has an autumn-time, "dead poet society" feeling to it. In it, there is a young girl who goes out with all her hooded friends. They stumble upon the energy of a Ghost in utter Anguish! This ghost seems like someone who would have been a slave owner, a very abusive one. Someone from the deep south who has hurt a lot of people in his life. All the people present are picking up on this ghost's energy and how much pain and regret he feels, not being able to let it go alone and without a physical body. The girl bravely stands in the middle of a circle of her friends. A kind, knowing teacher guides her to speak for this trapped spirit and begin to declare Healing and Release. She says something like "I call on the atoning Blood of Jesus Christ to clean my soul!" and the wind picks up dramatically, swirling in a circle around her as the anguish and pain of this spirit is being processed and released. A POWERFUL presence is felt in the wind, like Christ is there whisking away all the pain, regret, years of sorrow.

Meanwhile, while watching this movie, I have accidentally cut my arm and I am bleeding everywhere. I don't want to disturb Jenny, Zion or Heather while they are watching the movie, so I try to stop the bleeding by myself. It isn't working. Blood drips onto my other arm and the carpet.
I get a towel and dish soap and start to scrub each spot on the carpet. my shoulders ache. I recognize that my heart pumps harder due to my being pregnant, so I am bleeding much more than usual.
The stains don't come up easily.
I open the cupboards next to me to find piles of autumn leaves, some of which also have blood spots that I try to scrub off.
Meanwhile I am watching the movie still and thinking about how healing only comes through Christ.


I woke up this morning confused as to where I was because this dream felt so physically vivid and real!
I have the lingering feeling (still!) that I need to share this dreams. It feels urgent that I remind myself and people around me that we cannot move forward without Christ's help at this time.
I have so many personal things I am trying to work through and I am forgetting to utilize the Power of Jesus Christ as I do so!
The world is having so many "old stains" resurface right now and we cannot collectively move through this without His Atoning Sacrifice!
We do a shoddy job of scrubbing blood stains by ourselves. He knows how to easily, lovingly, remove them completely and permanently.


Friday, September 6, 2019

Wednesday, September 4th
This dream was short and simple, but very vivid. 

I "woke up" in bed, and looked across the room. There was a large demon sort of thing in the corner. It was not particularly frightening to me even though it was roughly seven feet tall and had spiky armor. it just stared at me, like it was waiting for something. 
I laid back down, astral projected out of my body, and made this light warrior aura around me. 
then I fought it really confidently and used like a huge bubble of light to push it out of the house.

I think the point of the dream was that I can have confidence in facing things that have scared me in the past. the whole dream was really over the top and I was just confident in my abilities. 

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Dream Spaces... (Church, School, Castle, Ship)

Olivia-
 Dream date: 7/1/1

I wanted to post some insight on the spaces that a few of my dreams have been taking place lately.

I had a dream last night that was pretty extensive and I am still thinking over it, in short though, it went like this:

I was walking through a corridor of a big, square, castle, trying to find the way out. A man was in charge of it and I knew he wouldn't permit me to leave before I met certain requirements/finished a certain assignment. (it was a man from Pennsylvania who I really grew to love while I served as a missionary, a loving Bishop). This castle was HUGE, big grey stone with an inner square with tall towers on all 4 corners, a corridor with red carpet, and then an outer wall with tiny windows that didn't allow me to see outside much.
The castle , however large, was held on the deck of an even larger ship (like a pirate/sailing ship).
I went down "below deck" into the belly of the boat, which was a church building with classrooms, a gym for playing, lots of people I knew. I spent time helping others finish an assignment and socializing so as not to offend anyone. I spent ALL my time doing those things and then when it came close to the deadline when my assignment was due, I couldn't even get started, there was no time left.
 Your personal interpretation/comments:
Hopefully you can see my picture well enough. As I wrote this dream down, it became clear to me that the space everything took place in was not random at all. it's actually a VERY good representation of different parts of my conscious right now in life!
I asked myself what each peace of the "dream set" reminded me of and this is what I jotted down in my journal:
CASTLE: Solid, Safe, also confining, can't see outside, closed in, Protected, whether I leave or not controlled by a man (or "mankind"). I think this represents my current/present reality and how I view my life possibilities. It has been hard for me to see afar off and understand where I am headed in life right now/my higher goals.
SHIP: sailing on uncharted waters, unknown destination, a sea of endless possibilities, adventures and voyages. Older ship=generations of knowledge and wisdom upholding me (sometimes unbeknownst to myself). I may not always know remember I am on a huge ship, and I may not know the destination, but what I do know is someone who Loves Me is the Captain of this ship and I have complete trust in Him!!!
Below Deck/Church/School: My subconscious processes, basic programming, deeply ingrained Beliefs/functions, obligations I have subconsciously taken on, in this specific dream it also appeared crowded with a bunch of people-social expectations I have accepted that actually are not serving me?

I would LOVE for you to comment with a place you revisit in your dreams and your thoughts on what it represents to you.

afterthought: below deck could be my mind, the castle could be my body/physical reality, and the ship could be my spirituality/higher self/connection to God
funny how the place that feels the safest and most peaceful is the uncharted territory where I know my God is really in charge!

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Dream date: 6/29/2019
Hi family! This is your cousin Kirsten. Olivia invited me to contribute here. I would be super interested to hear your thoughts or comments on this dream since it was unusual for me and I am not sure what to do with it. Love to you all. 

Dream:
Sead and I had arrived in what I thought was Cancun. I've never been there in real life but the water was clear, bright blue, and warm. He wanted to go parasailing and I did not. I just wanted to stay floating on the water on my little boogie board. I was annoyed by the crowds of people all around and the limited space I had to enjoy the water. 
As he was getting ready to go I pointed out to him that a storm was coming as a group of swirling dark clouds was forming. Then we realized that the ocean below the clouds was bubbling and lava was boiling up from under the water. I looked around for a place of safety.  We were on a very small island, more like a rock with a house surrounded by docks where the crowds of people were on small rafts or playing in the water. I wanted to go to the other side of the island away from the lava, but now lava was coming up out of the ocean on every side and there would be no place to run or escape it. I made my way to the highest ground where lava was coming up from every side. Just when I had accepted that I would not escape and would probably die (although I didn't feel any of that nightmarish fear, it was just a logical situation), the lava flow stopped and began to cool and harden at a safe distance surrounding my little hilltop. I don't know what was going on with the crowd. I didn't feel they were in danger.
The dream went on to have a reset of the same situation, as if it were a game that was orchestrated for me, but the second time I had it figured out and I confronted the guy who was trying to set it up, which actually led to some complications and increased danger for myself and others. That part feels less meaningful to me but still interesting. 

My interpretation/comments:
If the water symbolizes emotions, then this makes sense because my emotional world right now is inviting, a place I want to enjoy and discover, similar to the water in a vacation spot. But the crowds of people in my space limit my ability to do that because I have to accommodate and pay attention to them. That would include my kids in real life that are home all day for summer vacation and the commitments I have to be getting some research/writing done at the same time. It also makes sense that Sead wants to be doing/accomplishing something while I am craving quiet reflection. 
I looked up the dream symbolism of lava. It can represent anger, passion, things suppressed that can no longer be suppressed. Possibly this fits with my changing religious beliefs and the fact that I have suppressed a lot of that. Although I have talked with a lot of people about it, I haven't made any changes to the structure of my life, and I feel the pressure of those forces wanting to come out and change the landscape. Sometimes I also wonder if the religious wounds my ancestors passed on to me are coming out in me, demanding attention and healing. I think those women had to suppress a part of themselves for the sake of their religion. Now that energy wants to reclaim its power. 
At the same time, the lava could represent my "righteous anger" and the drive I feel to move my life forward by going to to school again and preparing for a career. I do not feel forced to do this. It feels like my decision more than anything has in a long time. But I do feel sometimes like I have no other option (hence being driven to the top of the hill by the lava flow of my own energy?). 

Friday, June 21, 2019

time travel? (and possibly Faith being an older spirit than I realized)

Monday, May 27th

I was wondering why saying goodbye has always made me so frustrated (I've avoided the end of relationships and graduations and partings for years)
I was shown a list of all the people I've felt I truly loved up till now in life. back through best friends and high school girlfriends and middle school crushes and childhood playmates. as each one came up in front of me I asked 
"Is this where I started being afraid of saying goodbye?"
and the answer was no. Over and over again.
I kept going back in my life until I saw myself as a little kid (about five)
I was told to stop and think about this for a bit. 
All the sudden I was standing in the grass in our front yard, kicking a black and white soccer ball back and forth with a little boy (It's me as a five year old)
I started talking to myself like I would talk to a little kid now
"hey buddy, how's it goin?"
I was trying to think of what was important to me at this time in my life
I talk back and forth with myself for a minute and then remember that this was when Mom was pregnant with Faith! of course!
So I ask if I'm excited to have a new baby sister.
"no, not really" little me says.
"why not?"
"because I'm the youngest, and I'm the cute little brother! now she's going to get all the attention!"
and it was funny to see myself demanding attention like this (because that never stopped being a thing)
but I feel bad because I know that Faith is going to have a rough time with feeling wanted. 
I try to explain to myself how she doesn't get aaaall the attention and there's still plenty for me, but younger me is just mad and won't listen. So I start telling myself a story.
up until this point in the dream it felt like I was just me from right now in my life, but as I start the story I realize that it's one my spirit had forgotten. So maybe some older version of me was telling me now and five year old me the story. I don't really understand it. but that's how it felt.
here is the story:

"when jenny was born, mom and dad were having a hard time over whether or not they should have more kids. Dad felt like they shouldn't because of pressure from his and mom's parents and worries over not having enough. Mom knew there were more spirits on the way and wanted to let them come to earth.
To help dad feel better about our decision to come, I came and told him that I was going to be his son and my name. Then I came back to the place where Heather, Olivia, John, and Faith were and told them M&D were ready for us. I looked up to Faith a lot as a spirit and she said we should let Heather and Olivia go first. so we did that. After sending them off, I felt sad about how hard it is to say goodbye to someone until the next time you're all in spirit together again. So I joked and told Faith that I won't say goodbye to her when it was my turn to go. But then actually didn't say goodbye."
at this point I stopped the story to gauge what little me though; he was standing there sort of digging his toe in the dirt and thinking really hard.
"I guess that makes sense" he says, so what then? (like, "so what am I supposed to do?")
I tell him that Faith will come and have a hard time anyway and be very sensitive to leaving and coming and how sad it is. and I tell him to just love her carefully because she'll need it and we owe her one.
then he asks when I'll be back and runs up the steps to go inside. I see mom in the old kitchen making food through the partially cracked door.
I ask younger me "wait, can I have a hug?"
and as I kneel on the steps to hug myself i feel this field of energy explode out away from us and expand out into the universe.

And the thought kept coming to me, "Zion, you came first to experience being the older sibling because Faith is the older soul." the rest of the time I was asleep that night. 

Friday, June 14, 2019

Wild BEing

Dream date:Monday June 3rd, 2019

  Dream: I was traveling through a dense jungle with two guys my age (guides/friends I believe) we were having to swing on rope swings and go down these log slides and I felt like that happened for awhile. next scene I was in a clearing surrounded by the jungle. I was staring at another part of myself. we were face to face looking into each others eyes. I could sense that she was being restrained with a hand holding her tight by her hair and another keeping her hands behind her back. Her eyes were wide and she was breathing heavy like a wild animal. I was frightened honestly. and at the same time I was saying over and over to her, "I Love You, I Love You, I Love You," the picture folded backwards as if we were falling back into being one and I was then watching a medicine woman with long dreaded hair, closing her eyes and swaying her body and hands, she was humming and out of the hum she said, " you have a hook right here," as she said this she placed her thumb on the very right side of my sternum on my chest, right where I have always had a "rib issue"  (been going to the chiropractor my whole life until I moved to Hawaii and now my body will restructure itself on its own) She slid her thumb upwards towards my neck and off. There was another lady sitting there at this jungle table but I couldn't see her face and she never spoke. she was dressed modern day though.

Your personal interpretation/comments: Earlier in the week I had done an awareness practice with my friend Steven (similiar to sitting with Linda although it is self guided and improvisational and more beneficial than i could ever tell you.) I had said that there was a part of myself that I was terrified of, that felt like she was destruction and doom. we ended up working more on the part of me that had shaped itself as a barrier between this part of me and me, lol. The barrier is neutral and allowed me to shift into wings like an angel, to allow breathe to come through. I was grateful as we did all this because even though I am committed and determined to my Whole Self I felt fear as I was telling the barrier to allow me passage to communicate with this part of me that I fear. So the dream happening as a result of all of this work was incredibly exciting to say the least. My Astral self showing me the continuation and playing it out as an experiential dream was Powerful. Thanks for allowing me to share with you guys and feel free to comment.

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

It's like this...

Wed, May 29th. 

I had asked the question "why don't the answers for what I'm struggling with in my life come faster? why do they have to come all broken up into small peaces?"
I was in a big clearing of forest with some friends. We were adults but acting like little kids. We were playing pretend like we were super heroes, but we were sure that we actually were going to get super powers for real. (In daily conversation with people I keep referring to learning  spiritual gifts and creating conscious spiritual connections with people as "superpowers") there was a big dress up box and I was grabbing out a cape to put it on and fly with and Wes (I think just representing the divine masculine or God) kind of catches me like
"Woah woah, don't get too excited. this is serious. it's not easy to know all this stuff, it's complicated" 
and the little kid-ish me was like
"nuh uh, what do you mean!?"
and it was this like odd moment of me seeing god's shinning eyes laughing silently at my innocence and then he just said "it's like this"
and instead of an explanation, I was just shown an image of waves on the shore of the ocean going up and down and in and out. 
The point was that learning comes in waves. and it has it's cycles. 
we move forward and rush in on what we want to understand, we get a glimpse of it, and then are pulled a bit further away back up to breathe a bit and process. 

In the palm of my hand

Dream date: Nov. 2018 
Dream: I was sitting in the mouth of a cave. Water and sunlight pouring in. Aways off in a field Myra was teaching students, something I was supposed to be a part of but I was holding my left hand up to that situation as if saying "not right now" something vital had my attention. In my right hand was a very small version of me. Like thumbellina. She was naked and had a small red towel that she was drying herself off with. My palm was open flat. She didn't look at me at all although I felt like she knew I was there. The feeling was profound to say the least. I was entranced. I have never felt myself be that interested in anything like that ever. Every cell of my being had attention only for her. I loved her in a way I have never experienced Love feeling. And was completely content to simply watch her in awe and joy.

Your personal interpretation/comments: this dream constantly comes up in every experience now to how I treat my self and how I feel towards God... Or whoever might be holding me in the palm of their hand. 🙏

Theatres

Dream date: June 3rd, 2019
 Dream: was in a building with the family. Entering different theatres. In one I was cleaning it and talking to a woman and that one felt more like a zoo, something to do with animals. I remember walking with the family through a hallway to another theatre. I was then in a situation where I was going to babysit for this nice couple and I had a good relationship with their two kids. I kept feeling like I needed to go home first though to get something, it was either food or something to smoke.
 Your personal interpretation/comments:

Mountain

Dream date: May 30th, 2019
Dream: was in a camp at the bottom of a big mountain with cliff side being a spot to climb up although it was steep. I went up and had some experience with two horses and two white birds. I was worried about the horses ankles, didn't want them to get hurt. And the feeling of getting up the mountain was intense and felt a bit frightened about the possibility of slipping. Later I was in the camp and watching Myra and Vanessa (from Hale Pule) start to make the trek up the mountain and felt that frightened heightened feeling again because of the trail being so steep.
 Your personal interpretation/comments:

Whale/mirrors

Dream date: June 2nd, 2019
I was in a city on the edge of a cliff with ocean. I went into a room and was looking into different mirrors that reflected different versions of my self to me. Some I turned away from instantly cause I didn't care for them. The ones I was interested in I don't remember what I actually saw. There was a girl in the room standing over a bridge and she could call diff animals to her. I saw a vision in the dream of her calling a whale and it breaching up from the ocean and swallowing her in it's mouth. Although that not what happened in the dream, I just knew it could've somehow as a vision. Ocean and everything being on a cliff made the feelings seem hightened, more intense.
 Your personal interpretation/comments: not sure.